Dave Coulier is America* or Who is Dave Coulier pt. 2

*I use America as a sort of general term for Canadians and Americans. I don't want to single out people from the United States because it doesn't really seem fair to generalize a nation and leave out another, remarkably similar nation(at least in terms of culture). If you're going to generalize, at least be somewhat fair about it.

If you haven't read my last post, but were sucked in by the utter intriguingness of my current post's name, I spent much of the post talking about Dave Coulier in the context of Jagged Little Pill (the popular Alanis Morisette album of which, I was suprised to find, he is the subject). My conclusion was that he wasn't the devil Alanis made him out to be, nor is he the boring, unfunny schmoe we all made him out to be; he is, simply, average. When pressed, he will take the path of least resistance (hence, why he left Alanis for the "older version of [her]" in the song You Oughta Know). Therefore, Dave Coulier is America.

What Dave Coulier wants is not dissimilar to what everyone wants. What everyone wants is greatness, accomplishment, fame, "The American Dream." But no one wants to work for that dream. That's why reality television is such a trend now--you don't have to do anything, you just have to show up. People are famous for no other reason than because they are famous.

I'm sure I could make an argument for movies, television and music being partly to blame. Almost every movie you have ever seen has undoubtedly ended with some grand romantic climax or final justice; every TV show with a clever line or moral; every song with the ultimate expression of emotion. But that isn't life--at least, not neccessarily. It's the interpretation that is most profitable.

Of course everyone wants that happy-ever-after, that perfect job or mate, that absolute level of accomplishment. The problem with Dave Coulier (America) is that he isn't prepared to work for any of it. Think about one person you know and what he or she says his or her dreams and goals are. Now think of everything they do in a day to accomplish that goal. It's probably very little, isn't it?

There are a few people who actually, genuinely have a lot of goals and plans and they actively work at them. But they are by far the minority. Most people just spend their evenings watching reruns of Full House.

Who is Dave Coulier (AKA Joey Gladstone)?

Someone told me a couple of days ago that the album Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette was mostly written about Dave Coulier, better known as Uncle Joey from Full House. It blew my mind just a little bit.

At first, I was amazed at someone so seemingly uninteresting and extremely unfunny could have such a remarkable impact on popular culture. He was on a TV show that's finale was viewed by 25% of TV watchers in America and he was the subject of the second-best selling album of the 1990s (the best-selling was Shania Twain's The Woman in Me).

But then I thought... maybe Dave Coulier isn't so bland. I mean, if he was even partially responsible for turning her from this: http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=ar7afdfBHj4
into this: http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Tnbc64XQ1DI(and both him and Alanis have at least hinted that the latter song was about him), it's impossible that he is who we all think he is.

Some songs on Jagged Little Pill seem to describe the clean, unfunny Coulier of our childhood--for example, Head Over Feet ("I've never felt this healthy before//I've never wanted something rational") and All I Really Want ("Why are you so petrified of silence//Here can you handle this... did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines or when you think you're gonna die//or did you long for the next distraction").

But others, the obvious being You Outta Know but also, Wake Up (A more obscure track that features the lyrics, "There's an apprehensive, naked little trembling boy with his head in his hands") hint that Mr. Coulier was profoundly fucked up, or at least, in the context of his relationship with Alanis. The latter song is the one I find the most fascinating on that album, with respect to its new Coulieriness (Coo-lee-ey-ee-niss).

I suspect Wake Up wasn't as popular because of its specificity: The first line is "You like the snow but only if its warm." But, assuming it is, in fact, about Coulier (and the fact that it's so specific makes me think it is), it paints a pretty vivid portrait of a man who consistently takes the path of least resistance. Suddenly, I had Dave Coulier completely figured out.

If you want to be a comic, what is that path of least resistance? Family-friendly, "clean" comedy. If you're trying to make people laugh, what is the easiest way to do so? Impressions of already established characters like Elmer Fudd and ET. Even You Outta Know fits with this line of thinking: he left Alanis Morissette because she was... too fucked up. He went with somebody older, more mature. She thought he was going to save her--and maybe he did too, before he realized that it would be easier not to. That's why she resented him so much, and that's why I think Dave Coulier is the perfect metaphor for America.

To be continued...