Do People Change Pt.2

I was just reflecting on my previous blog post, and I feel I've come off a little pessimistic. And since I generally hate pessimism, I think I should not only clarify my last post, but add to it a bit and make it more of a complete thought. 


The last blog post revealed a bit of a personal flaw that probably impedes my personal progress more than anything: my inability to acknowledge the progress I have made. I'm too busy thinking about where I want to be than where I am compared to where I was, if you follow. I've known for a while about myself, but I can't help but fall into the same traps. 


I realized that part while having a conversation with a friend. I mentioned that I'm not even sure if I would like 18-year-old Jason if I met him face-to-face. I didn't think about it, but after extrapolating a bit further (and thanks to some thoughtful prodding from that friend), what I managed to realize is this: I wouldn't like that person because looking at him would remind me of who I could be if I continued down the path I was on. That is to say, unhealthy, lazy, mindless and even kind of stupid. 


I've had a sort of aversion lately to things, activities and people I associate with my old life. It's not because I don't like those people and things, but more that I don't like what they represented for me in the past. Furthermore, I worry that I would see myself reacting in the same way I did before. I'm afraid that doing the things that 18-year-old Jason did would make me revert partially into that Jason, thus making me realize I haven't changed as much as I would like to think I have. But I'm starting to realize that is probably not the case. 


What I can say is this: I have made tremendous progress in several ways and not recognizing that would be a disservice to my Self. I am a more positive, happy and complete person than I've ever been before, thanks in no small part to the changes I have initiated for myself. 


And while I may not be fundamentally different from the me I used to be, that's not necessarily what I wanted. I don't hate me of yesteryear; I just strongly dislike 18-year-old Jason's apathy and complacency. There were things that I really liked about that me (though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time) and I hope I've maintained them throughout this time and would be able to recognize that if I were to run into my 18-year-old self. 


In short, people do change, but not completely. However, most people don't need to change completely. That's pretty much as well as I can put it at this point because I should really get to bed. 

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