Hockey

I realized the other day that I like hockey, but I'm not a fan of any one hockey team.

I'm entertained by the sport, but I realize full-well that it has no real importance or relevance to my life. If I was to associate one team with me, I would be forcing some arbitrary importance onto them. It's sort of like choosing a horse at a horse race, but not having any money riding on it. Sure, it may seem to make the sport more entertaining, but I'm not going to be better off or any more fulfilled if my team wins and I'm especially not going to be any more fulfilled if my team loses.

I guess I just don't feel the need to associate emotions with 20-some players who I've never met before and make more in a year than I probably will in my life.

If you care to hear more of my thoughts, below is an essay that I wrote for my magazine class where I contrast hockey with soap operas. It's more of a rant than it is an essay, but it still has some moments. Enjoy!


Hockey and Soap Operas
I think it’s about time someone compared the two. They have more in common than one might think. The first and most obvious comparison (well, to me) is the audience’s similarity. Not because of age, sex, annual income or any demographic data; they are the same in the way they emote.
I first realized this during game one of the Edmonton/San Jose series. I was at a bar when San Jose scored to make it 2-1. The crowd’s demeanor went from that of a rowdy bar to that of a dentist’s office. The drilling our team took was like a drill into Oilers fans’ collective mouths. Since I’ve never known an admitted soap opera watcher, I use the hypothetical “soap opera watcher.” We all know her, sitting on the edge of her seat with the Kleenex and phone ready in case Fernando goes through with the affair. Both audiences go through similarly drastic--and similarly arbitrary-- highs and lows during a game/episode.
Another matter for comparison is the sheer unpredictability of both entertainment forms. Have you ever seen a weird play in sports? Like in basketball, the shot from half that manages to go in with a quarter of a second left--or in hockey when a player scores a goal on his knees and backwards? It is a fact that in sports, crazy shit happen. The same goes for soap operas: in a soap opera, it is a fairly regular occurrence that someone gets possessed by a demon, meets their evil twin or loses their millions. In both cases, abnormal incidents are the norm.

Another similarity is that we can’t start watching either of these forms of entertainment with expectations. I mean, we root for our home team, and we might place a bet on the better team, but there are too many factors. You might be underestimating the goalies playoff ability or a team’s fatigue. This is similar to predicting that Sandra will come out of her coma and point out Jeffrey as Matt’s killer. But here, we might underestimate just how desperate Jeffrey is. Maybe he’s willing to kill again. Or better yet, maybe she’ll come out of her coma with amnesia.

Perhaps the biggest similarity is the sheer pointlessness of both of these two entertainment forms. Why do we care if a group of guys we’ve never met are collectively better at moving a piece of rubber into netting than another group of guys? Why do we care if Eddy stops Helena’s evil plot to poison Sheena to get with Wes? None of these people have anything to do with us; but all of them have lives that are more exciting than ours. It’s simply a matter of having too much time on our hands at different points in the day.

I hope you don’t see this article as judgmental. If it helps, I have watched (and will watch) hockey and soaps before (and again). In fact, I’ll be rooting on the Oilers as soon as tomorrow night. I guess I’m just saying judge not the soapies, lest ye be judged, sportsfan. Or vice versa.