There are a number of ways I consider myself different from the me of even a few years ago. On a fairly superficial level, I've lost about fourty pounds, I exercise more than I ever have and my diet has gone through a pretty radical change. On a more personal level, I'd say I see a lot of things differently. My interests, the types of conversations I have and the ways in which I spend my day are all vastly different than they were a few years ago.
But can I really say I've changed on a fundamental level?
As much as I like to think I've made changes in a positive way, I can't shake the feeling that if somebody I hadn't seen in, say, five years met me on the street, they would see me as basically the same person, possibly a little more "grown up." I'm not really sure how to feel about that. Is it that they are only seeing me on a superficial level, or am I attaching too much importance to what are mostly superficial changes?
And that begs the question: What, exactly, is change? If I go from believing in God to being an Athiest, most people would consider that a major change. However, if you walk up to me on the street, regardless of my belief or disbelief in a higher power, I'll likely react to you in almost the exact same way. So have I really undergone a change at all?
In the movie, they discussed a fairly famous study of two groups who had either won the lottery or had become paralyzed. After about six months, the people were basically the same in terms of happiness levels and overall demeanor. So do we change? Does anybody change? Does anything have the capacity to change us? Or are we, really, without free will in the context of Self?
And the kicker is, why should I work to change myself if I'm going to be fundamentally the same person anyway?
I think I have to sleep on this. I hope to have some answers in the morning...
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