Tired of YO-YO Dieting?
Are you dying for a way to lose weight that's easy, but lasts slightly longer than other easy diets?
Stop playing GAMES with your body!
You should stop Yo-Yo Dieting... and start... HOPSCOTCH DIETING!!
Hopscotch Dieting?? What's that??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?
It's a new, easy and effective weight loss program!
How DOES IT WORK?
It's simple--just like the game hopscotch.
Your first step is throwing your stone to create a marker (setting a weight loss goal). And then when you have your goal in mind, you hop onto the first square. There, you will enter diet phase one, where your diet will consist of cabbage, boiled water and salt (to be eaten separately). THEN, after two and a half weeks, you can hop onto squares two and three. Step two is the one where you will eat carrots, cabbage, lemon and evaporated water (to be inhaled through a straw). Step three involves the exercise portion of your weight loss routine. Do 1000 jumping jacks a day, every day for 20 days.
Can't do them? Well, you're hopeless and should give up and go grab a double-cheeseburger meal and get to work on your next heart attack.
What's the next square?!?!
We can't tell you the other steps because we want your money! But we can tell you they're equally restrictive and even more arbitrary.
I Don't Understand....
Yeah, you get it! Now I bet you want to know how to order.
I didn't say that...
You didn't have to! Just dial 1-888-FAD-DIET for more information, or send a blank, authorized cheque to 123 Fake Street, Providence, Rhode Island.
Start HOPPING your way to weight loss today!!!!!
Disclaimer: The rules of this diet have been chosen arbitrarily. There is no clinical or theoretical reasons for doing any of these steps, other than a decrease in caloric intake and increase in physical activity. The Hopscotch Diet is not nearly as effective as a healthy diet combined with exercise.
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